Re-write draft #2. Save as “AW2 Essay4 Draft3 Lastname”. Email it to me (subject line should be the same) by next Friday. I will email those students whom I did not get a chance to speak to in class today (Nov. 15th).
Print out and bring your draft #3 to the next class.
The difference between “uninterested” and “disinterested”. Small differences but important. Academic writers and students (that means you!) are interested in such small differences and understand their importance.
Rights: positive and negative. Group discussions and individual answers in writing.
The most urgent necessity is, not that the State should teach, but that it should allow education. All [legal] monopolies are detestable, but the worst of all is the monopoly of education.
— By. Frédéric Bastiat
Citations and references. At KPU, Academic Writing students are supposed to use the MLA style. There are two parts to citations:
the in-text citations which are in the main body of your essay, and
the “Works Cited” section which comes after your conclusion at the end of your essay.
Every work cited, that means every website, newspaper and magazine or journal article or book that you use in your essay should be referred to both in the body of your essay and listed in the “Works Cited” section at the end of your essay. The list should be in alphabetical order of authors’ names.
Why should you include citations in your academic essay?
You need to show that you have done some reading about your topic.
You need to support the points that you are making, i.e. you must give evidence to support your claims.
You must show where you got your information from – not just “the Internet”,
you must give enough information for your reader to find the same article or website or book that you found:
the title of the article or website or book;
the author;
the publisher (Wikipedia is a publisher, for example);
the date of the article, web page or book;
the URL if it’s a website or web page;
the date you accessed it (if it’s a website or web page).
2 videos (in English) on how to write citations and a bibliography:
This screenshot from video 2 shows the relationship between the in-text citation and the Works Cited (or References) section (click on the picture below to see a bigger one):
The examples in the video do not use the MLA style but you should.
If you have not already done so, please email me your Essay1 draft3 (final version) at your convenience, and by Friday June 7th.
Did you notice the sentence above starts with a subordinate clause, something I said to avoid. Can you see why I did this?
Find a good example of an English essay by either Francis Bacon or George Orwell and read it in either Japanese or in English or both.
Bring the original English version with you to class on June 7th to share with your classmates. You should be familiar with the contents and able to explain it to your classmates (in Japanese at least).
Announcement
I have prepared three collections of student Essay #1 which you can download from the links below:
(Coming soon: An uncorrected collection from this year’s (2019) AW1 class)
The essays in all 3 documents are anonymous and appear in the collection with students’ permission.
Today’s class
Academic writing guidelines:
English prefers active to passive verbs, e.g. “People think I am too old” instead of “I am thought to be too old”.
English prefers positive to negative, e.g.
“I had few opportunities to speak English” rather than “I did not have many opportunities to speak English.”
English prefers starting a sentence with the main clause rather than the subordinate clause, unless there is a reason to emphasize the subordinate clause, in which case it should go first. E.g., instead of “As a cram school teacher, it is important to tell what the life of the university is like” write “It is important for cram school teachers to know what life at university is like.”
Or “my English may not improve if I do not speak to English speakers” instead of “if I can’t speak to foreigners actively, my English will not improve”
English prefers verbs to nouns, e.g. “I will learn English” rather than “I will acquire knowledge of English”, or “I regret this” rather than “I feel regret”.
English prefers items that are closely connected be kept within the same sentence, e.g. “In Japan a university is where young people go after graduating high school, so I am considered an unusual student” is better than “In Japan, a university is a place where young people go after graduating high school. Therefore, I am an unusual student.”
English prefers to keep the subject the same from one sentence to another wherever possible.
Academics like
precision (using the correct word), e.g. “I will build confidence (to speak English)” instead of “I get confidence”. Academics avoid vagues and subjective words like “get”, “nice” or “great”.
accuracy, e.g. “Japanese school education is mainly aimed at helping students pass entrance examinations” instead of “Japanese school education is mainly aimed at passing entrance examinations”, because “education” does not take or pass exams, only people do that.
Improve this sentence: “break time with companions of my part-time job is very valuable for me because it improves my communication skill”.
and they do not like ambiguity (e.g. words which can have more than one meaning, or have subjective meaning), such as “get, nice, great”, etc.
conciseness. E.g. “Japanese school education” is considered preferable to “the contents of education at school in Japan.”
the contents of education at school in Japan are mainly aimed at passing entrance examinations –> ?
to be careful – they avoid saying “always”, “never” or “all”, but prefer to be cautious and say “most” or “probably” or “hardly ever”, etc. This is called hedging.
Feeling and sensation are very important in Japanese culture, but academic writing is about objective facts and logic. Sentences like “I want to feel foreign culture” or “I felt cultural differences” do not belong in academic essays. Differences which involve judgment cannot be felt, they are apprehended by the mind. Say instead, “I experienced / learned / discovered / noticed cultural differences.”
Dragon Zakura episode 6: the English competition. What did you learn about writing or learning English from watching this episode?
Update: Email me your preferences about the Essay #4 Class Collection (see below).
Update: Option: email me your answers to the questions in today’s class (see below). I do not take attendance, but I do count the work you hand in.
Today’s class
Complete the following sentences:
The title of your persuasive essay should_________________________
In academic essays, avoid rh________ q__________s
All claims must be ______________ by ______________
If you refer to a survey, article, institution, figure or date, you must ____________ the r____________ to the original s____________ .
All ref______________ must be listed in your b__________________y at the end of your essay, and formatted according to the _______ style.
Please select your option and complete the following statements (let me know by email if you did not tell me in class):
I want / do not want a digital copy of the class collection of Essay #4
I agree / do not agree to allow my essay #4 to appear in that collection.
I agree / do not agree to allow my name to appear on my essay.
I agree / do not agree to allow my essays written in Academic Writing II, 2018 to be used by Mr. Sheffner in the future, including for publication.
Read the “Work Cited” at the end of the sample essay in the textbook (p. 114).
Write similar “works cited” for the articles 2 and 3 in the textbook, pp. 162 and 164, using the information given on those pages.
Skim through the sample essay on p. 113-4, and copy out the 4 sentences that refer to the original article (the one listed in the “works cited” section on p. 114). (For more examples, see here: http://bit.ly/OWLMLAin-text )
Email me your Essay #1 Final draft, if you have not already done so.
Please tell me by email (if you did not tell me in class today)
if you would like to read a collection of your classmates’ essays #1 (yes or no)
if you agree to your essay #1 being included in the class collection (yes or no)
if yes to #2, do you wish your name to appear on your essay or not?
what method of feedback you prefer in future
face-to-face
handwritten comments on your paper
error correction software (pink highlights, etc)
some combination of the above
Today’s class
Expressive vs communicative writing
Communicative writing is writing with the reader in mind.
Essay writing is standard in most secondary schools in English-speaking countries in order to develop mental discipline, the ability to think objectively, logically and critically, and to express oneself clearly for the benefit of others.
Essay writing is communicative rather than expressive writing.
Some good examples are the essays by Francis Bacon and the Frenchman Michel Eyquem de Montaigne.
Montaigne’s essays repay study, as he wrote his thoughts and feelings but somehow made them interesting and useful to his readers.
Error correction – although most students expect their instructor to correct their English, error correction is not always an efficient method of learning, because
insufficient use of pronouns (resulting in too much repetition of nouns)
insufficient use of relative pronouns and adverbs (which, that, whose, there, where, when, etc.), resulting in unnecessary repetition, unnecessarily long sentences or unnecessary multiple sentences.
Discussion of typical errors in a sample student essay, marked using marking software. Download the sample essay here: AW1 Essay1 draft3 sample_4class
Complete your final draft (final version) of your Essay #4 and email it to me, if you have not already done so, or if you did not give it to me in class on Friday.
Email me by Monday 23:59 your preference regarding the class copy of Essay #4 (only if you have not already done so).
Do you give your permission for your essay to be copied for the class collection?
If yes, are you OK with your name being published or not?
Do you want a copy of the class collection of Essay #4?
Today’s class
Principles and values:
When persuading, we tend to argue from our own values
But if the other party does not share those values, our efforts will fail.
Therefore, it is useful and important to know and understand other people’s values in order to more successfully persuade them.
Write an outline and introductory paragraph for a response essay to this article:trump-foreign-policy-speech
What are the “five main weaknesses” in US foreign policy, according to the article? Use direct quotations or paraphrasing.
Cite the original speech (see the sample essay in the textbook p. 114).
Today’s class
“Entangling alliances” quote from Thomas Jefferson’s inaugural speech, March 1, 1801. (See last week’s handout “Excerpts from George Washington’s Farewell Address”. Download it here: washington-farewell-address
Choose one quote from the list (the one you summarised last week) and write an introductory paragraph about it. (Download the list of quotes here: analyzing_political_comments
Include a summary of the original quote,
a reference to the source (where it came from), and
your thesis statement (your position on the matter).
Short discussion of the homework article “The America First Committee”. (Donwload it here: america-first-committee
Textbook sample essay: how does the writer show which ideas are her own and which ideas are from the original writer (Penenberg)?
Choose one of the two essays in the Appendix of the textbook, and write an introductory paragraph for a response essay about it.
Give the reference.
Summarize the main ideas
Give your thesis statement.
Add the reference (see “Work Cited” in the sample essay on p. 114).
studying these can help to protect yourself against being persuaded by false arguments, also known as logical fallacies (link to Japanese language site that explains logical fallacies)
semi-formal voice, e.g. “do not” instead of “don’t”, “they are” instead of “they’re”, “is not” instead of “isn’t”, etc. Avoid conversational expressions, e.g. “I had a tough time”, or “it was very nice” or “they are cool”; replace with more formal expressions such as “I had a number of difficulties” or “It was pleasant weather/delicious food/enjoyable experience,” or “they are elegant/attractive/charming/good-looking/well dressed”, etc.
3rd-person point of view, rather than first-person. E.g. “Perfume is a highly popular Japanese girls’ pop group” instead of “I like Pokemon”.
One-page writing workshop (handouts). There were three today (you can download them here: One-page Writing Workshop )
Academic writing began in Europe as letters written between scientists exchanging scientific information.
These letters were not for personal or social purposes, therefore personal or social conversation was not included.
Academic writing takes place between educated people who may or may not live in the same area or country, who may or may not speak each other’s language but share a common language (in this case, English; originally, it was Latin).
The purpose of academic writing is to contribute to the community’s pool of factual, true knowledge about the world and how it works.
Academic readers, therefore, are interested in your factual information which will increase their knowledge and understanding about how the world works. They are not interested in you personally.
Therefore, avoid expressions such as “Why I became interested in ….” or “I love….” or “I have studied …. for xxx years”.
Avoid using “we” (which usually means “we Japanese”). You are not a representative of the entire Japanese people, nor have you any evidence (usually) to back up your claim. Instead, use phrases like “Many people in Japan” or “It is customary/traditional in Japan to…” This also follows the rule of using the 3rd-person point of view and avoiding the first person (“we” is first person plural).
Focus on general ideas rather than unique, personal details. For example, in the sample essay in the textbook on pp. 15-6, the writer never mentions the names of her best friends, or her teachers, or even the name of the school. Why not? Because she is focusing on general ideas or principles, such as “growing through adversity”, or “learning to appreciate one’s parents”. Writing the names of her school, for instance, would suggest that hers was a unique experience rather than one that can be shared by other human beings.
