Tag Archives: week 6

Academic Writing II – week 6, November 8th, 2013


None. Today was the deadline for essay #1: problem-solution essay. If you were absent today, email me your essay today or tomorrow. Overdue essays may not receive correction or feedback.

Today’s class:

  1. Read classmates’ essays
  2. Give feedback using the form on p. 105
  3. Write the outline for your essay (see p. 102)
  4. p. 100 Practice 5
  5. p. 101 Practice 6
  6. p. 103-4 Practice 7

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Academic Writing I – week 6, May 24th, 2013



I will send all students for whom I have an email address, an invitation to a Dropbox folder. If you have trouble sending me your document, you can try uploading your document to the Dropbox folder (you do not need a Dropbox account, login or ID to do this).

If you did not receive an email from me, please email me immediately.

 Today’s class:

  1. Sheffner’s academic essay writing comments. You can download these pearls of wisdom as a PDF here: Comments on Essay1 This file is also available in the Dropbox folder “Essay 1 Explanatory” which you can access once you accept the invitation which has been sent to you by email.
  2. Essays returned with comments.
  3. Homework checked (p. 27 Practice 9, 10 & 11)
  4. Read p. 29 “Hooks”
  5. Answer the questions on p. 30 Practice 13, p. 31 Practice 14 + 15



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Academic Writing II – week 6, November 9th, 2012

  1. Read your essay aloud to yourself
  2. Random groups of 4/6: read each others’ essays & comment
  3. Freewriting#1:
    1. makeup availability;
    2. What makes a “good” essay”
    3. How could you improve your essay?
    4. Was it useful to read others essays? Why/why not?
    5. Did you like to read comments on your essay? What kind of comments were most useful?
  4. A bit of research might be needed to improve your essay.
  5. Textbook ch 4 p. 94 how to choose a topic
  6. P. 95 choose a topic: make your own list; compare lists with your neighbours.
  7. Homework:
    1. If you typed your essay, email it to me.
    2. Read sample essay in textbook pp91-2
    3. Make a short list of topics for your next essay (persuasive essay).

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Academic Writing I – week 6, May 25th, 2012

Today’s report is by Ms. Kamioka.

  • We learned how to make good conclusion, and did in textbook practice 14,15 on page 31.
  • We checked the second draft of our own essay with peer feedback form on page 33, and teacher’s comment.
  • We rewrote our essay, added a ‘hook’ and a good conclusion etc.


Re-write essay (third draft) in Microsoft Word, and e-mail it to Mr. Sheffner, by Wednesday May 30, midnight (23:59).


Here are some suggestions for types of “hooks” to begin your essay with; from “Ana, the Writer Today“‘s blog. Do you know any websites with good tips for writing? Whether they are in Japanese or in English, why not share them with your classmates by leaving a comment?

10 Writing Hooks

Writing Class Notes: Beginning Hooks – Strategies to use to catch your reader’s attention

1. Begin with a simile or a metaphor.
My life has been a carnival. My family is like an open book.

2. Begin with a question.
Who is the greatest athlete of all times?

3. Begin with a definition.
Amiable is the best way to describe my personality: I am friendly and caring. Perfect is the best adjective to describe me: I am flawless in every aspect of my life.

4. Begin with a quotation.
“Learn to laugh” is something my kindergarten teacher told me after Ralph Thorsen spilled paint on my daffodil picture.

5. Begin with a comparison to a well-known person or celebrity.
I am as photogenic as Tyra Banks.

6. Begin with placing yourself in the future.
In the year 2012 I see myself as a supreme ballerina performing in Camelot at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C.

7. Begin with a dilemma.
Deciding to attend Hampton Roads Academy, a private school, was one of my most difficult decisions.

8. Begin with a scene.
The day of my birth began with Hurricane Charlie pounding at our door in Charleston, South Carolina.

9. Begin with the best advice you have ever received.
“Butch, did you practice the piano?” Since I was six years old, this has been a daily reminder from my dear mother. “Be all you can be” has been my inspiration from my grandfather who is a retired Marine Corps colonel and my mentor.

10. Begin with an anecdote.
As my cousin and I pedaled our new bikes to the beach, 6 years old, suntanned and young, we met an old, shaggy-haired man weaving unsteadily on a battered old bike.

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