AW2: Week 2, October 11th, 2019


  • Choose 2 topics from the list on p. 95 (change #4 to “2020 Tokyo Olympics”)
  • write 2 or 3 arguments FOR and AGAINST the topic (you may need to do a bit of research). You are not just expressing YOUR opinion, but also what OTHER people think about this topic.
  • Bring to class next week.

Today’s class

  1. Body paragraph 1: compare the student originals and Sheffner’s rewrites. What changes did he make and why? Discuss in small groups. Download today’s handout here.
  2. Typical rewrite reasons:
    1. colloquial (= non-academic) language –> academic (formal, scientific) language. E.g. don’t –> do not, get better –> improve, get –> buy/purchase, even so –> nonetheless/however, so –> therefore, etc.
    2. avoid repetition (e.g. replace nouns with pronouns). AVOID USING “WE”.
    3. less is more (generally speaking), e.g. 3 words are better than 6. E.g. clothes we buy for every day –> everyday clothes, school uniform that public junior high school students wore –> public junior high school uniforms, etc.
    4. detail in the wrong place – details do not belong in the introductory paragraph but in the body paragraphs. E.g. According to Mainichi Shimbun on February 14 in 2018, Taimei elementary school in Tokyo decided to use school uniforms designed by Italian luxury brand “Armani” –> According to a 2018 newspaper article, a Tokyo school decided to use uniforms designed by a luxury brand.
    5. expand to make a point clearer – sometimes less is NOT more. Sometimes, arguments need to be explained explicitly (especially warrants; more on this later). E.g., we cannot contact with them –> they may not know who or how to contact them.
  3. Textbook p. 93 Practice 1