Academic Writing I, week 14: July 18th, 2014


  • Re-write your compare-contrast essay (essay #3), print it out and bring it to class next Friday.
  • Print out and email me any other essays you have not yet handed in. Next Friday is the last day for handing papers in.

Today’s class:

  • Individual feedback on your essay #3 (compare-contrast)
  • correcting sentences.
  1. English prefers verb phrases to noun phrases. E.g.:
    1. This would give you impressiveness.
      1. This would impress you.
    2. Students independence might grow.
      1. Students might grow more independent.
    3. You can start using twitter more easily than Facebook.
      1. Twitter can be used more easily than Facebook.
    4. The restaurants’ tastes are not so good.
      1. The restaurants’ food does not taste so good.
    5. Additives tend to do harm to your health.
      1. Additives tend to harm your health.
    6. You can sometimes see the sign to tell people to stay away from TV and take a rest their eyes at the beginning of amines and drama.
      1. At the beginning of cartoons and dramas on television, you can sometimes see a warning telling people to not sit too close to their TV set and to rest their eyes regularly.
    7. Furthermore, chewing well makes your brain developed
      1. Chewing well develops your brain.
    8. Eating too much phosphate may make calcium of your born melt.
      1. Eating too much phosphate may melt the calcium of your bones.
  2. English wants to have the subject of the sentence as close to the beginning of the sentence as possible; in first position, or, if not, in second.
    1. However, between kyudo and archery there are many differences.
      1. However, there are many differences between kyudo and archery.
    2. In that to release an arrow from a bow it seems like archery.
      1. It seems like archery in that it releases an arrow from a bow.
    3. Until you sleep after getting up, you have to speak English.
      1. You have to speak English from the time to get up until the time you go to sleep.
    4. So I couldn’t speak English, I often couldn’t understand what was said.
      1. I often couldn’t understand what was said because I couldn’t speak English.
    5. You worried about living with host family I think it is natural.
      1. (I think) It is natural that you worry about living with a host family.
    6. When you put on glasses, you don’t take some time.
      1. You don’t take any time when you put on glasses.
    7. Which is better shopping at store or on the Internet?
      1. Is shopping better at the store or on the Intenet?
    8. When there was a medical emergency, in the countryside finding a doctor is very difficult.
      1. Finding a doctor is very difficult when there is a medical emergency in the countryside (OR Finding a doctor in the countryside is very difficult when there is a medical emergency).

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