Write a simple 5-paragraph (or more) response essay to this video clip below.
Your introductory paragraph must include a short summary of the episode, the main lessons it teaches about English study and about life, and whether you agree with those lessons or not and why.
The other paragraphs should deal with the main lessons that you select from the video.
Use the English subtitles for quoting directly from the video, or use paraphrasing.
Finally, cite the original source. The URL is https://youtu.be/AEnO6uYMX4g
Use this format for the citation but without the parentheses: “(Name of video).” YouTube, uploaded by (name of uploader), 6 June 2016 (date uploaded), www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBlpjSEtELs (URL, see above or visit YouTube).
Re-write your second draft response to one of the two essays in the Appendix to the textbook pp. 162-165. This will be your final version. Print out and bring to class next Friday (Dec. 4th). If you will be absent next class, please email it to me.
A “response essay” is NOT a 感想文.
You are not writing mainly about the topic (violent video games or homework). You are writing about the article (either the Amanda Shaffer one, or the Alfie Kohn one).
First, you need to take a position for or against the article (not the topic), and write your position clearly in the first paragraph.
summarizethe article’s main points and give your response to each together with your reasons why you agree (or disagree) with the points in the article.
E.g.,you disagree because
the facts in the article are false (e.g. “It is not true that capitalism is responsible for the increasing income inequality. Instead, capitalism is responsible for overall growth in income and wealth; income inequality is partly a natural phenomenon because people are not equal, but it is made worse by the policies of government and central banks.”
or because the argument is weak (e.g. “Automation does cause some job losses, but it also creates new jobs that did not exist before. For example, cars and trains automated long-distance travel by replacing horses. Many jobs related to horses were lost (e.g. horse farmers, horse trainers, horse riders, etc.). However, many new jobs were created by automation, e.g. car and train drivers and mechanics, factory workers, engineers, designers, etc. To say that automation destroys jobs is therefore a weak argument.”)
or because the writer does not provide enough evidence, e.g. “The writer says that the government knows exactly where the dictator has stocks of dangerous weapons, but does not give the exact locations.”)
or because the evidence is weak (e.g. “The author says that ‘research link[s] violent video games to increased aggression’ (162), but the research does not show a clear link, it only ‘suggests’ that ‘violent video games may be more likely to’ lead to aggressive behaviour. It may, but also it may not. The evidence does not support the author’s claim.”)
Your reasons should include as many objective facts as possible.
Your personal belief is not an argument. Simply stating your belief is not persuasive and should not be used in an academic essay.
In groups of 4 or 5, read each others’ essays.
Hand in your second draft of your “Response essay”.
Re-write your Problem-solution essay, print out and bring to class next week.
Update: If you were absent June 13th and wish me to comment on your problem-solution essay draft, email it to me without delay. Otherwise, read below what we did in class, read the textbook sections, then re-write your essay.
If you know you will be absent next class (June 20th), please email me your essay or give it to a classmate to hand in for you. If you email me your essay, please use the following convention for both your email subject-line and your document: AW1_Essay2_[Name]
Students read each other’s essays and commented on them.
Textbook p. 61 Practice 11 & 12, p. 63 Practice 15.
Comments on students’ drafts of essay #2 (problem-solution)
The title must include or suggest the problem you are writing about. E.g. “The dangers of torn muscles” is better title than “Know yourself”.
If you use facts and figures to support your argument (and you should), give the reference: tell the reader where you got the numbers so (s)he can check for him/herself.
The conclusion summarises your essay. It does not contain any new information. This is different from the Japanese rhetorical (essay) style, so please be careful.
Handout: reference on how to use commas and how to hedge (in English and Japanese).
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Who is Dan Cohn? What is his job, and what company does he work for? Why did he look for information about Penenberg?
How much information did Cohn have about Penenberg before his investigation?
Did Cohn break any laws?
What does Penenberg hope readers will do or believe after they have read his article?
(1) For “the death of Marilyn Monroe”1. Yes. I agree with this essay.
2. Saying what I think freely does someone harm. We should think around us.
3. “That hatred of values has always existed in some people, in any age or culture. But a hundred years ago, the would have been expected to hide it. Today, it is all around us; it is the style and fashion of our century. ”
Because, various feelings ( especially something bad ) are open to us. The phrase persuaded me so much.
4. How we can feel other’s feelings? Only saying? I also think by eyes.(2) For “the article on writing a term paper”1. Yes.
2. I always write essay making only one draft. However, this article says writing essay needs three drafts at least. It is very surprising.
3. “If your mother has time to read your paper to you, have her do this. Print out two copies: one for her and one for you. She reads; you mark your copy. When your words sounds lumpy, mark them. When they sound confused, mark them. This is a kind of real-world technique.”
Because, we can’t think of asking someone to read my second draft. I can revise my fault. It is good thing.
4. We should take time to write essay.